My joyful moment of the day was thinking about/seeing this image for the first time in a while.
To say that this painting changed my life is actually, for once, an understatement for me. It has encompassed and been present in many different times of my life and has served as my inspiration not only artistically, but also spiritually. I can merely look at this image and my eyes mist over - it means that much to me. Here's why . . .
When I was in sixth grade, my brother traveled to France with a school trip. I missed him terribly when he was gone, but of course, he'd never know that. I love my brother to the point of pain occasionally, and admire him so much - however; our relationship is nothing like I wish it would/could be and it's something I've regretted a lot in the past few years. Anyway, he went to France, and ended up bringing me a copy of this painting as a souvenir. It is the first un-forced present I can ever remember him giving me (not Christmas, not birthday, etc.), he picked this out for me alone and thought it would be something I would enjoy. He spent hours talking to me about France, about the magic of Paris, about how much his French speaking skills had improved. I'm sure you can guess what happened next . . .
I fell in love. With French, with France, with all things Francophone. All I wanted in life was to be just like him - to love a place and a language as much as he did. Beginning in 7th grade, I took French as my foreign language, and pretty much didn't stop until I walked across the graduation stage at Santa Clara. When classes became too hard, when I couldn't figure out how the hell I was supposed to write a 15 page paper about existentialism in French, when I debated studying abroad . . . all I had to do was glance at the beautiful woman with her umbrella and I knew that it was what I was meant to do.
I became enthralled, entranced, enamored with the way French sounded, with how easily it came to me, with how beautiful the written words looked on pages and flowing from my hand. It began to define my education and the course of my life. I was incredibly fortunate to study abroad in the Fall of my junior year of college, and to say that it was an experience like none other only scratches the surface. I needed to rediscover who I was and what I wanted. I learned so much about myself while I was there, it's unreal.
The woman with the umbrella is housed at the Musee d'Orsay in Paris. That building, in and of itself, is the most beautiful place on earth, but the fact that it holds the key to my heart is beyond all wonder. I'll never forget the moment I saw her hanging on the wall - I didn't have a map of the museum (totally defeats the surprise/wonder factor of exploring) and I remember turning my face to the left and there she was. More magnificent than I had ever dreamed her to be. As I'm sure you know, Monet's impressionist brush strokes simply jumped off the page and she was immediately real. I stopped dead in the middle of the hallway, tears streaming down my cheeks because I realized what this moment meant to me. My search, my journey, my quest had all been for this moment. I had been inspired by this image for so many years, and to see the actual thing was so powerful it nearly broke my heart. I think back to that moment now and realize that there will be few experiences in my life like that one, and I am so blessed to have lived it.
Looking at the painting now is still extremely emotional for me - not because French/France defines my life as much as it used to, but more because I feel I can identify so much with her. I want to live my life in a state of grace, my clothes blowing softly in the wind.
